What Was: Account of Surgery Torture

The first patient I operated on was Lucy. She was the last one I had, and the case was a very bad one. Lucy's agony was extreme...I thought that she was going to die. The poor girl, on her knees, bore the operation with great heroism and bravery- 1845 Montgomery

they think we dont feel pain we do we bleed we hurt we bruise we scar we form welts large marks on our black skin we feel alla that you hear me everything

every

single

thing

i aint takin this bravely im scared im so scared n in so much pain hes rippin me apart takin apart ma flesh ma organs and watchin as i bleed out and everythings showing and ion wanna be i wanna be closed up agin i want the pain ta go away i look at all the white men eyes watchin what he doing ta me why nobody helpin me please make him stop please please please

i just wannit ta be over i beg ta god ta the heavens ta whoeva out there please stop please

just stop it hurt please just make ma heart stop ion wanna do this no more ion wanna

please just makit stop

its over evry breath feel like ma last

i hope he kill me next time

In a room fulla those

White eyes bulgin out they heads

Leechin offa my stuff, jottin

They looking at every incha

Ma breast, ma hips, ma thighs, ma legs

Ma that has neva belong to me

I cain’t even be in pain without it bein a note

‘Not painful enough’, tuh!

First brought to him to be healed

I wanted the pain ta go away so I could continue

If livin even worthit

Massa decided dat for me

It’s no different here

Me, Lucy, Betsey

All da respectable white men

We learn how ta care for one anotha

We knew dat, we was born knowing dat

...

He gon get all da praise

He gon get remembered

He gets ta be who cured then gets ta go on out and

Cure all da respectable white women

With all da decency

Lots ta spare for dem

And what’ll happen ta us?

Aint even scraps

Till the day they kill us

Like nothin

What aint been said?

Hard cold table

Thin autumn

White sheet

Aint cover

He tell massa he aint wanna do it

Aint wont nothin tuh do wit woman parts

I was ‘broke’

Den he come back

Got two white boys wit him

He wanna take anotha look

White man take what he wont

Caint do nothin bout that

Cept just lie there

Hope you take it da way he wont you to

I aint gotta tell you

I aint ‘yessuh’ tuh nothin

You heah?